I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
