super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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