I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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