we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
