Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Me too!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
