did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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