Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
