It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
