we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
