Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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