So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
