based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its not stalking. its research.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
