So drunk its hurt
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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