Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
