hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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