i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
