I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
