So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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