You can't special order awesome
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize