I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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