I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
