found the other keg... it's in the tree
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize