my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
