Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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