lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
