i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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