I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
