my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
