he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
