it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
