You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
