I met the friendliest cop last night
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
love makes seman taste better
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
