i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
