I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize