it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
