Where did you get a picture of my penis
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Randomize