I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
