Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize