Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
