yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
