your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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