God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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