I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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