I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
