hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
