I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
