I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize