So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
