Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
