he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
