It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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