Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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