i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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