Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
