I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
