One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
