i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
