She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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