i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
