i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize