I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
