What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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