i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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