i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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